Are You Worthy?

R U a Worthy M8?

2009-04-15T10:49:00.000-07:00

Every so often our love and relationship task force will answer questions and give advice to those in need. For the time being the questions will be taken from Yahoo Answers Singles & Dating forum. Each question is from a unique user.

Unfortunately, this golden advice will more than likely never be seen by those asking the questions...at least not until this blog reaches its rightful place on top of society's advice and opinion blogging echelon. So, we're just talking in the wind for now. Then again, that's pretty much all this blog is doing right now anyway.

On with the show...

Question

Would you sex is a big or the most important part of a relationship?
And how often would you expect to haver sex a day or week? Guys and girls please

Answer

Absolutely sex would be the biggest and most important part of a relationship for you. Unfortunately, your partner (or, more likely, victim) will probably not agree with that. As far as how often, I guess it depends on how much chloroform you have on hand. I do applaud your open mindedness when it comes to either finding a guy or a girl for your sexual needs. Marketing gurus preach the best strategy is to cast a wide net, especially when your just starting out.

Question

Something wrong with me?
am i ugly or intimidating?maybe guys are too shy to ask?i'm a junior in hs and nobody has asked me to prom, and i'm not exactly sure why. whenever i'm with friends and we meet someone new the guys always seem to fall in love with my friends but tend to hate me. friends say i come off as mean, but i really don't think i am.i can be a little sarcastic and i love getting people to laugh. but nobody seems to like me upon first impression, when they get to know me better and hang out with me for a few days they seem to like me a little more, but it's confusing for me. i'm not bad looking, btw.

Answer

You're more than likely both ugly and mean, but the good news is, you're probably not intimidating. Let's face it, throughout history, mean women have always done pretty well in the romance department (at least for a little while anyway) if they've got the looks to go along with it. But, if you are on the ugly side, or even on the plain side, you can't get away with crap in this society. Of course, you also shouldn't discount the idea that your so called friends might be poisoning the well against you here. But, even the most vicious smear campaign couldn't work without a lot of perceived truth to back it up.

Question

Need to get rid of an ex....HELP!!!!?
I've left him countless times because I just can't find happiness with him. He doesn't seem to understand this. He keeps coming back and putting me on a guilt trip, causing me to take him back. Now, he's back again, but this time he's engaged. That doesn't seem to stop him from loving me though. He is willing to leave his fiance to be with me. They're expecting their first child soon. I still care about him; I just don't feel the same way. I've tried to explain this to him, but he just doesn't get it. What's the easiest way to let him down with completely destroying him?

Answer

You're the problem here. You know he's engaged, expecting a child and Lord knows what else. Stop talking to the dude. Stop being interested. I couldn't even tell you if my exes are alive or dead from the moment we break up to infinity and beyond. That's the way to live.

Question

Online dating protocol?
Should you only date one person at a time, and then only move on to the next person if you find out that they're not suitable? Or is it ok to go on a few dates with different people? And then what happens if you decide you like more than one of them, and you have to choose (oh - a dream position to be in...)

Answer

Only date one at a time otherwise you end up in one of those hilarious change outfits each time you run to the other's table kind of scenarios. While uproarious and largely forgotten by today's uppity television shows (and they have the nerve to call themselves sitcoms? You won't find a situation more comedic than a guy on two dates at the same time but pretending to only be on one). Anyhoo, you would inevitably end up at the table with the wrong outfit on at some point and be found out by both people, so stick to just one person at a time like God intended.

Question

Do you think he is avoiding me or something?
I go to an adult school, its mostly people around my age (20) and this one guy(Hes really shy, doesnt talk to anyone), who i think is really hot!!! we often bump in to each other or walk by & lock eyes. but we've never talked. to be honest i thought he might have a little crush on me,cuz of the way he looks at me. But i noticed, he AVOIDS me! He will NEVER sit near me, & today i had to go downtown, so i went to the bus stop, (its the bus stop that he takes everyday)& i got there first. he was walking up& we locked eyes for a good 5 seconds.&then he just walked by me, i was shocked cuz he always comes to the bus stop, so why did he walk away. after i got on the bus, i noticed he was like hiding in a store then when the bus went by he went back to the bus stop to wait for another one. WTF, im so OFFENDED.Why is he avoiding me, when he doesnt even know me! why did he do that?

Answer

Bus people getting together. How lovely. Anyway, he's probably highly intelligent (he is going to adult school, right?) The last thing the poor guy wants is to start something with someone that rides his bus. What happens when it inevitably ends disastrously due to your stalkerness and his assbergerness? Don't make the poor sap have to buy a car and get a license just to get to and from adult education. Stop staring and move on.

Is Suze Orman a Worthy Financial Expert?

2009-04-14T12:55:00.000-07:00

The Facts
Suze Orman is a self-touted "financial expert" who has become a fixture on television shows like Oprah, Larry King and just about anything owned by the peacock. Her Wikipedia bio shares the following: Orman was born in Chicago, Illinois in 1951 to immigrants who ran a deli. Orman came from a working class background and has said that she did not "grow up with money." She holds a BA in social work from University of Illinois. In 1973, she moved with friends to California and lived for three months in a van on Hearst Avenue in Berkeley. She soon became a waitress at the Buttercup Bakery on College Avenue. In 1980, a longtime customer named Fred gave Orman a loan of $50,000 to help her fulfill her dream of opening her own restaurant. Orman invested the money at Merrill Lynch, but four months later was broke again, after she was swindled by her stockbroker. Knowing that she couldn't make the money back as a waitress, and having started learning more about finances and investing, Orman returned to Merrill Lynch and entered their training program to become an account executive. She discovered through her training that her stockbroker had committed an illegal act and she thus sued Merrill Lynch. Suze received the entire $50,000 back plus interest and was able to pay back her former customer. After she completed the training, she was hired by the firm and remained there until 1983 when she left to take a position as a vice president of investments at Prudential Bache Securities. In 1987, Orman resigned and opened her own financial planning firm, the Suze Orman Financial Group. She acted as director of the firm until 1997, when she stepped down as her writing career took off with the publication of her second book. She has since written six straight best selling books on financial planning.

The Rep

Suze holds the PBS record for most successful fundraiser with her shows promoting her books
She is the go-to financial guru for Oprah, Dr. Phil, Larry King and seemingly anybody else that will have her on their show
QVC also touts her as one of their best sellers
One of the most influential people in the world according to Time magazine in 2008

The Rap

Critics often site her advice as being too simplistic
Her financial credentials listed in some publications have come under fire for being exaggerated
She recently made headlines for going against her founding principles: Paying off debt and stokckpiling an "Emergency Fund"

The Analysis
Suze Orman is looked on by many as the know-all, be-all, end-all when it comes to planning and saving for a prosperous future. There is no doubt that those that have followed her advice have found themselves living a better, less financially stressed life. But does that alone make her worthy of being an expert?

Is her advice too simplistic? Is there a simpler way to say, "Yes?"

You can click on a "Debt Eliminator" plan on her website. Once there, you can enter your outstanding credit card debt. She then asks what your minimum payment is and if you have additional money you can pay toward the debt. If you only have one credit card with a balance and say you can pay an amount greater than the minimum, you get this response:

"You need to pay the $150 minimum amount due PLUS $250 (the extra amount of money you said you had available) for a total of $400 on this card. Continue to pay at least this much each month on your card until it is paid off in full. Once your card is paid off, and if you need to use it again, be sure to only charge an amount of money that you can afford to pay off each month. Next, I want you to sit down and write a personal vow that you will never charge more in a month than you can afford to pay off in full. Getting rid of credit card debt is a great step, but staying out of debt is the ultimate goal to build financial security."

If you put in additional cards with varying interest rates and balances, surprisingly it gives you a secret code to enter on any credit card's website that makes your outstanding balance trickle down to zero by applying a fractional penny from each transaction made by other credit card borrowers that don't know about this secret code. No, not really. It tells you to pay off the highest interest rate card first, and then tackle the smaller balance cards until you get down to one card. After that, see above example of having one card with an outstanding balance. Pretty simple stuff, right? But, maybe some people just can't understand the basics of living within their means.

Suze is an advocate of paying off all your debt and then building an emergency fund equal to 6 months salary in the bank that you never touch in case something unexpected happens, but she recently hit the news with a change of plans. Due to the hardships of this recent economy, she said to scrap the pay off all the debt stuff and just pay the minimums and build up the cash in your account.

But this change in plan begs us to ask: If the golden plan that she has been preaching for twenty something years was the answer to any emergency situation that came up, how come when an emergency actually happened, the plan was immediately scrapped for a new one? Clearly, Orman's original advice was too idealistic at best. And, one has to wonder, wouldn't it be better if you were able to pay off all your debt and then use your credit line as the Emergency Fund in this uncertain time? Cash will certainly always be king, but a credit line can be a lifeline at times.

Money in the bank is a psychological thing. One creates their own bottom that they feel comfortable with keeping. For some, going below $500 in the bank account is a sign of trouble, some $10k or maybe a million, while some certainly cash it all out every paycheck, it doesn't really matter. Ideally, we would all have $30k in the bank, but that's just unrealistic. And actually would be problematic for the economy if that were to happen by creating stagnation and, more than likely, inflation.

The other problem with this new twist to the plan is the idea that all debt is a bad thing. Suze herself started out borrowing a large sum of money to fulfill her dreams at the time. Things didn't go so well, but that's due to some illegal shenanigans and then her dreams changed. But who's to say if she wasn't swindled, she wouldn't have a bazillion dollar company going right now thanks in large part to that first loan?

So, Suze's advice boils down to being debt free and to save a boatload of money and to NOW save the money and don't pay off any more than the minimum of your credit card debt. That seems incredibly foolish and downright dangerous considering her unmistakable power in influencing many people's (especially the women-folk's) financial decisions.

One must wonder how many spousal arguments if not outright divorces lay at the feet of this "expert."

Because of the shift of plan when the Suze hit the fan and because her advice of "debt=bad, money in hand=good" is nothing different than someone in your life (mom, dad, grandpa, some homeless guy on the street) would offer up, it is our opinion that Suze is a lot of talk and circumstance, but little if any substance and absolutely not an expert.

The X Factor

The fundamentals of Suze's original plan will never fail or go out of style and countless people will never learn how to save a dime, plus hundreds of thousands of new suckers are born every minute that soon gain their financial independence whether they want to or not. These new people to the system will have the same inept ability to screw things up just as those before them did time and time again.

But, Suze will probably retire a gazillionaire, so she can easily point to the proof of her own success. To that we say, "Blech, this miracle elixir tastes a lot like piss."

Was Crash Worthy of the Best Picture of the Year Award?

2009-04-04T09:06:00.000-07:00

The Facts
Synopsis: Crash is a movie about how people from all races deal with bigotry and racial stereotypes, whether it's overt or institutional, on a daily basis. A cop tries to get medical help for his father, but he is having problems with a black HMO clerk who won't give his father permission to see another doctor. He in turn takes out his frustration on a black couple during a traffic stop. A socialite and District Attorney are carjacked at gunpoint by two black teenagers. Sandra takes out her anger on a Mexican locksmith who is changing the door locks to their home. Later that night, the locksmith is again robbed of his dignity by a Persian store-owner. The movie attempts to manipulate the viewers pre-conceived notions of what a "bad guy" or "good guy" is based on first appearances by adding twists to nearly every character at some point in the film (a synopsis assist from the Movie Guy at IMDB.com)

Rated: R

Running Time: 112 minutes

Release Date: May, 2005

Written and Directed by: Paul Haggis

Starring: Matt Dillon, Sandra Bullock, Don Cheadle, Terrence Howard, Michael Pena and many, many others

Popularity: Grossed over $50 million domestically

Oscars: Best Picture, Best Screenplay, Best Editing. Beat out Best Picture nominated films Capote, Brokeback Mountain, Munich, and Good Night, and Good Luck, as well as notable non-nominated movies Syriana, King Kong, Cinderella Man, Batman Begins, The Constant Gardener, Hustle & Flow, Sin City, The Squid and the Whale, Walk the Line, Memoirs of a Geisha, North Country, Kung Fu Hustle and Grizzly Man (documentary). [editor's note: to be fair, these were 2005 releases, but some of the non-nominated movies might not have qualified for the 2006 Academy Awards because of release dates or other rule stipulations.]

The Rep

A self-described "passion piece" for director Paul Haggis, Crash was inspired by a real life incident in which he was carjacked outside a video store in L.A.
Rottentomatoes.com gives it a 75% fresh rating (fresh = good)
Metacritic gives it a consensus score of 69 out of 100
Critic Roger Ebert gave the film four stars and his nod for best picture of the year
UK's Empire Magazine, mostly readers poll, ranks it at 460 out of the top 500 movies of all time (as of 9/08)
Shined a light on the preconceived racist tendencies that many, if not all of us, share no matter what color our skin or income status level might be

The Rap

Some critics asserted that Asians were portrayed in an overwhelmingly negative light with few, if any, redeeming qualities and Arabs were portrayed in stereotypical overly religious way.
Dialog was often heavy-handed and "on-the-nose" (see examples here)
Ended up on some critics "worst movie of the year" lists at the time and has seemed to have grown in unpopularity as time goes by.
Is practically devoid of any memorable lines, characters, plot elements or other "classic" moments found in most favorite films.

The Analysis
Admittedly, Crash was never one of this site's favorite movies. It was viewed long before any ideas of it getting nominated for Best Picture were even being considered, so there was not a preconceived notion going in that this thing better be one of the best ever made. In fact, little was known about the film beforehand, so no pre-opinions were present. When it was actually nominated, it was somewhat of a surprise. When it won, it was a shock.

But, this site isn't solely about one person's opinion. It's about hearing the arguments for and against the topic and weighing the facts and evidence provided by other sources to make a judgment.

Crash beat out hyped up favorite Brokeback Mountain and the somewhat controversial Munich. Good Night, and Good Luck and Capote, while good movies, were not considered real contenders for the title. There was some speculation after the results were revealed that Crash, a story with the nearly universal appeal of "racism = bad," was the safe pick over more controversial stories about homosexuals, Jews, smoking black & white people and whatever Truman Capote was. Certainly debateable, but impossible to really know due to the secrecy of the voting results.

Crash is certainly not a badly made movie and it does score some points by being successful despite a relatively shoestring budget. It is heavy-handed though in how many of the characters deal with the racism they encounter and harbor inside themselves. It's talky. Too talky (like this blog, but worse) and what the character's often say is preachy and unrealistic. But writer/director Paul Haggis has proven his worth before and since in such movies as Shaggy Dog Returns. Well, he did do that, but he also was instrumental in the re-birth of James Bond's popularity and won an Oscar the previous year for scribing Million Dollar Baby. So, the guy can definitely write and craft a good tale (although we're still confused on what the heck happened at the end of Casino Royale).

Most annoyingly, Crash is one of those movies, like the near Best Picture Traffic (2000), that hammers its story home over and over and over again. For those of us in the audience that are smart enough and already cognizant of the fact that we may hold some ingrained racist or stereotypical views that we need to work on, or, in the case of Traffic, that doing or dealing drugs is a bad thing for you and your family, you get the point 15 minutes in. The other hour and 45 minutes is a preachy, repetitive waste of your life.

The Judgment
It's a close call. And it's never easy to say after the fact that something isn't deserving especially when there's a lot of people voting for the results. More than likely this was an extremely close race and votes were split all around. When that happens, the safer, middle-er of the road choice almost always comes out on top.

It's this site's opinion that the main things to look at when discerning the value of things like best movies is relevance over time. After all, once you get past the technical aspects of making a good movie, isn't staying power and lasting effect on society the most important thing? In that case, Brokeback Mountain is the runaway winner, but probably a somewhat surprising very close second, if not topping it, is Walk the Line. Those two movies are still in the collective consciences of our society. Others that have certainly influenced current movie-fare that deserve this kind relevance over time type of consideration (although admittedly laughable if they were actually nominated for the prestigious Academy Awards) were Sin City, Batman Begins and even Kung Fu Hustle.

Crash is notable for a cool trick though and that is its manipulation of the audience. Characters are shown in a certain light or fashion that plays on preconceived notions of good and bad. But, is that truly shining a light on our inner racist, or just shining a light on our inner laziness in movie watching? Maybe the true stereotypes that we all share is that well-lit characters accompanied by lifting music = good; while darkly lit characters with ominous tones = bad.

So, final judgment? Roger Ebert is hands down the best film critic that has ever lived and 99.5% of the time this site would just agree with any of his assessments and move on. But, we just can't do it with this one. While Crash probably deserved to be nominated, Brokeback Mountain deserved to win. And, as a footnote, Walk the Line deserved a nod as well, probably ahead of Capote or Munich.

Is Crash the worst Best Motion Picture of all time? Arguably, no. We'll assume the Academy got it right up to 1950 things like lack of competition and a difficulty of knowing now the general temperament of the times back then. An American in Paris over Streetcar Named Desire in 1951, Greatest Show on Earth over High Noon, Ivanhoe, Moulin Rouge in 1952, Out of Africa over The Color Purple in 1985, Dances With Wolves over Goodfellas in 1990 are clear oversights after the fact.

But, probably the worst offense based on the selections it beat out was in 2007 when The Departed (a flawed, predictable mess) won out over Babel, Letters from Iwo Jima, Little Miss Sunshine, and The Queen. Of course, The Departed more than likely won as a make good for Goodfellas slight a few years earlier (a movie in many critics top 1o0 or even top 10 of all time).

The X Factor
Not much of an X Factor possible here. Movies that peak for Best Picture or that are even nominated are very seldom looked at in a new, positive light later on.

Its only hope is that many, many years from now, racism is non-existant and historians trace the turning point all the way back to 2006's Best Motion Picture.

Is Hines Ward Hall of Fame Worthy?

2009-04-03T11:07:00.001-07:00

The Facts (as of 2008)

Born: 3/8/1976 Seoul South Korea

Draft: 3rd Round 1998
Experience: 12 seasons and counting

Games Played: 170
Receptions: 800
Yards: 9,780
Yards per Catch: 12.2
Touchdowns: 72 (plus 1 rushing TD)
First Downs: 509
Accolades: 3-time team MVP, 4-time Pro Bowler, 4 consecutive 1,000 yard seasons, club record for receptions and TDs in a year (112, 12), all-time Steeler receiver, Super Bowl MVP

The Rep

Great hands
Versatile
Great blocker
Team player, presumably for one team his whole career
Great attitude
Tough player
Ambassador for South Korea

The Rap

Never the best receiver among his peers (and rarely the featured receiver on his own team)
Not particularly fast or athletic
Dirty Player
Little impact on the game overall
Statistically dwarfed by others in the game

The Analysis
It is our belief that Hines Ward is definitely in a gray area when it comes to inclusion to the Hall of Fame. When all is said and done on his career, which should have 2-3 more years of generally decent productivity, Ward may still find himself on the outside looking in on many statistical categories.

He currently ranks 22nd all-time in receptions, but with 200 more, he will more than likely be only the 10th with a 1,000 or more in his career, putting him in the company of the likes of Marvin Harrison, Cris Carter, Randy Moss, Tim Brown and Terrell Owens. Unfortunately, without much more production, he finds himself among the Rod Smith, Jimmy Smith, Henry Ellard, and Keyshawn Johnson's of the world.

His 9780 yards put him 34th all-time and with a couple thousand more, he could end up in the top 20 by the end. Again, unfortunately, that would put him in the area of guys that few think are Hall of Famers like Henry Ellard, Keenan McCardell, Joey Galloway and Derrick Mason. But, on the plus side, he would be in the company of guys like Steve Largent, Michael Irvin, Charlie Joiner and Art Monk.

His 72 touchdowns look much like the pace of his receiving yards for comparison purposes. If he somehow manages to reach 100, he would be in good company, but that may be wishful thinking for a guy that averages 6 a year.

He also blows away the other Steeler wide receiver inductees Lynn Swann and John Stallworth, statistically speaking. But, is this a fair comparison. One could easily argue that Swann and Stallworth on any other team even in their era would produce far better numbers and, if they played today, would be two of the best in the league. It's hard to see Ward doing better if you placed him on another team in the league and he may even do far worse (see Antwaan Randle El).

What will probably eventually help Ward the most are the things not measured by statistics - his reputation as the ideal team player and pound for pound one of the toughest in the game. Detractors, though, point out his contract hold-out and his penchant for questionable hits that have since been ruled illegal.

The fact that he will presumably play for the same franchise will probably also work in his favor, but we question just how much of an important factor is that? After all, could it be that a player stays with the same team because he isn't much of a commodity elsewhere? Fans accuse players of being greedy all the time for leaving a team for more money, but what if the biggest offer of money is coming from the team that you're already on? That's still, by definition, being greedy.

Another bonus factor in his favor that can't be ignored are the rabid Steeler fans that believe nearly every player that puts on the black and gold should be given some consideration. The 21 Steelers already in the Hall might play a part in influencing the decision as well.

There might also be some consideration to the fact that he is the best Korean born NFLer to ever play.

The Judgment
It is my opinion that Hines Ward will eventually make the Hall of Fame, probably sometime around 2025. I think for comparison purposes he measures very closely to recently inducted Art Monk (940 receptions, 12,721 yards, 68 touchdowns). Monk didn't play in a dead ball era, but he did share the load with a couple of other very talented receivers and receiving touchdowns were not where they are today. Monk played 14 of 15 years with one team and was known as an intangibles, pound for pound guy as well.

But, it did take Monk 17 years after eligibility and a lot of lobbying by fans and teammates to get the guy in there.

The X Factor
If Ward can pull off something special in the few years he's got left (a couple more Pro Bowls, another Super Bowl MVP, 100 touchdowns) he will be a near lock, not first ballot, but an eventual for sure.

But, if Ward gives it all up and becomes a Tibetan Monk or something and never plays another down or hits the wall statistically and does the ol' release, sign, waive, sign, release, sit out, sign, release, try-out dance he probably won't ever make into the Hall.